Exhaustion

I have forgotten the total mental exhaustion. After two straight days of attack from Mother, I sit here at work feeling almost incapable of movement. My arms feel weak. My head leans to the right as though my neck is not quite strong enough for the weight. My fingers are tired. My shoulders are tired. My fucking solar plexus is tired.

I lose time. My mind feels empty. I stare into space. I blink. I’m not really sure if I was even thinking. I don’t know how long I was there.

In a meeting yesterday a colleague had to call my name three times before I came back.  Everybody’s staring. Amy? Are you OK? I’m fine. It’s just been a very long week and I’m tired.

I’m so fucking tired.

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