The invisible abandonment of a child of a narcissistic parent

Originally posted on Tereza's Health Blog:
The topic of this article has been on my mind for quite a while and I have been finally impelled to properly formulate my thoughts after a recent interaction on Facebook, which reminded me of all the invalidation and abuse by proxy that we, as children of narcissistic…

The Monkey

This is dedicated to all the Flying Monkeys out there. Well I was unprepared for that. I have to say I thought better of you. I have to say I was wrong. You showed up at my house pushing Mother’s nasty and hateful agenda and once again I’m left feeling helpless, hopeless and hurt. Do […]

Unwanted

Today is Mother’s birthday. I’m sitting here at my desk forcing my tears back. Today a coworker has brought her niece into the office. She’s 15 and doesn’t speak any English. Her mother has just been remarried and is pregnant. She has a new family. The mother has sent her to Miami from Mexico to […]

The Breakdown

I’ve recently gone No Contact with Mother again. She made it almost two years. Impressive. Apparently today is the day she plans to prove to the world that I am the Most Evil by showing a series of text message to my Brother. The Golden Child. The big reveal of hoof and horn. In honor […]

The Iron

When I was in the fourth or fifth grade, maybe nine years old. We were in your bathroom at the house on Melville. We were sitting at the vanity in the dressing room. The carpet was palest of green and the wallpaper was beautiful. Large florals of pink and green. You were curling my hair. […]

Father’s Day

My dad is important. He didn’t understand most people. He was strong. A farm boy. An independent man. He ran away from home in the Texas Panhandle at 14 or 15 to New York hopping trains with a cousin. I sat next to him, shoulder, hip and thigh with my head on his shoulder. He […]

The Fantasy

Over the course of my childhood I would have a recurring fantasy. The same fantasy every time. My fantasy was that I would walk into the kitchen to the silverware drawer next to our refrigerator. I open the drawer and pull out one of the steak knives with the wooden handles. I stab myself in […]